| 00:00:10 |
00:00:13 |
Tennis balls are yellow.
Green, they've always been green |
| 00:00:14 |
00:00:17 |
They have a little green in them but
the yellowness of a tennis ball is an |
| 00:00:18 |
00:00:19 |
undeniable truth. |
| 00:00:19 |
00:00:22 |
Once you add any green to yellow
that color is now green. |
| 00:00:22 |
00:00:26 |
I hate your philosophy of colors as much
as I hate that face you mask your skull |
| 00:00:26 |
00:00:30 |
with so get us both out of here,
it's time for The Face Off. |
| 00:00:30 |
00:00:34 |
The Miami Heat have plunged into collective
disarray trying to figure out |
| 00:00:34 |
00:00:39 |
which of them Celtics enter Kevin Garnett
called "a sloppy-chested shit" |
| 00:00:39 |
00:00:42 |
in Tuesday's game.
Miami Heat is a talented squad -- |
| 00:00:42 |
00:00:46 |
sloppy-chested confusion.
One minute LeBron James is pointing at |
| 00:00:46 |
00:00:52 |
himself and the next Dwayne Wade is asking
Coach Spoelstra if he thinks his chest |
| 00:00:52 |
00:00:56 |
looks sloppy.
Either LeBron or Wade need to just step up |
| 00:00:56 |
00:01:02 |
and claim ownership of a sloppy chest.
A championship team knows who they are |
| 00:01:02 |
00:01:05 |
and knows which Garnett screamed
insult fits each of them best. |
| 00:01:05 |
00:01:09 |
They need Bosch back to full health.
When's he's in action all insults are |
| 00:01:09 |
00:01:13 |
directed at him as they should be and the
rest of the team can do their jobs. |
| 00:01:13 |
00:01:18 |
Moving on from -- the Belmont States are
upon us and everybody's talking about |
| 00:01:18 |
00:01:24 |
a trailblazing young jockey named Junior
Alvarado who sits directly on his horse's |
| 00:01:24 |
00:01:27 |
head when he races.
This jockey fills my blood with bile. |
| 00:01:28 |
00:01:30 |
Horse's backs are shaped like seats for a reason. |
| 00:01:30 |
00:01:35 |
It's 2012, Doc, you can't sit on
a horse the same way forever. |
| 00:01:35 |
00:01:36 |
This kid is a visionary. |
| 00:01:37 |
00:01:40 |
His whole career he's been inching farther
and farther up the horse's neck until |
| 00:01:40 |
00:01:45 |
Bayshore when he finally straddled the front
of his horse's head and steered it |
| 00:01:45 |
00:01:46 |
by the ears. |
| 00:01:46 |
00:01:49 |
His -- will be his own jockey downfall. |
| 00:01:49 |
00:01:50 |
All right, let's get back to human sport. |
| 00:01:50 |
00:01:55 |
The Braves are shopping Jason Heyward and
a few draft picks for someone like a 2010 |
| 00:01:55 |
00:01:56 |
Jason Heyward. |
| 00:01:56 |
00:01:58 |
This is classic early season panicking. |
| 00:01:58 |
00:02:02 |
Hold on to your cards, stick with Jason
Heyward, and see what develops. |
| 00:02:02 |
00:02:07 |
Jason Heyward is never going to be a 2010,
Jason Heyward - it just isn't in his DNA. |
| 00:02:07 |
00:02:11 |
They're crazy if they think they'll get
a 2010 Jason Heyward with what they're offering. |
| 00:02:12 |
00:02:16 |
The best they can hope for is someone is
like a September 2010 Jason Heyward who |
| 00:02:16 |
00:02:20 |
still shows flashes of brilliance but
gets worse with every pitch he sees. |
| 00:02:20 |
00:02:25 |
What the Braves don't want is a 1990
Jason Heyward because that would just be |
| 00:02:25 |
00:02:27 |
a small time.
All right, that's it for The Face Off. |
| 00:02:27 |
00:02:32 |
Now get out of my face and listen to my
idiot partner try to sell you a terrible book. |
| 00:02:32 |
00:02:36 |
It's a wonderful book and it's called Within
The Face and it lets you know all |
| 00:02:36 |
00:02:40 |
about the top stories talked within the
folds of my front lawn and it's a - |
| 00:02:41 |
00:02:44 |
Okay, that's your five seconds, Doc.
We were supposed to write that book |
| 00:02:44 |
00:02:48 |
together and now I end up without
a single mention in 400 pages? |
| 00:02:48 |
00:02:51 |
I can't include very single
person I ever meet, Kenny. |
