||Tennis balls are yellow.
Green, they've always been green
||They have a little green in them but
the yellowness of a tennis ball is an
||Once you add any green to yellow
that color is now green.
||I hate your philosophy of colors as much
as I hate that face you mask your skull
||with so get us both out of here,
it's time for The Face Off.
||The Miami Heat have plunged into collective
disarray trying to figure out
||which of them Celtics enter Kevin Garnett
called "a sloppy-chested shit"
||in Tuesday's game.
Miami Heat is a talented squad --
One minute LeBron James is pointing at
||himself and the next Dwayne Wade is asking
Coach Spoelstra if he thinks his chest
Either LeBron or Wade need to just step up
||and claim ownership of a sloppy chest.
A championship team knows who they are
||and knows which Garnett screamed
insult fits each of them best.
||They need Bosch back to full health.
When's he's in action all insults are
||directed at him as they should be and the
rest of the team can do their jobs.
||Moving on from -- the Belmont States are
upon us and everybody's talking about
||a trailblazing young jockey named Junior
Alvarado who sits directly on his horse's
||head when he races.
This jockey fills my blood with bile.
||Horse's backs are shaped like seats for a reason.
||It's 2012, Doc, you can't sit on
a horse the same way forever.
||This kid is a visionary.
||His whole career he's been inching farther
and farther up the horse's neck until
||Bayshore when he finally straddled the front
of his horse's head and steered it
||by the ears.
||His -- will be his own jockey downfall.
||All right, let's get back to human sport.
||The Braves are shopping Jason Heyward and
a few draft picks for someone like a 2010
||This is classic early season panicking.
||Hold on to your cards, stick with Jason
Heyward, and see what develops.
||Jason Heyward is never going to be a 2010,
Jason Heyward - it just isn't in his DNA.
||They're crazy if they think they'll get
a 2010 Jason Heyward with what they're offering.
||The best they can hope for is someone is
like a September 2010 Jason Heyward who
||still shows flashes of brilliance but
gets worse with every pitch he sees.
||What the Braves don't want is a 1990
Jason Heyward because that would just be
||a small time.
All right, that's it for The Face Off.
||Now get out of my face and listen to my
idiot partner try to sell you a terrible book.
||It's a wonderful book and it's called Within
The Face and it lets you know all
||about the top stories talked within the
folds of my front lawn and it's a -
||Okay, that's your five seconds, Doc.
We were supposed to write that book
||together and now I end up without
a single mention in 400 pages?
||I can't include very single
person I ever meet, Kenny.