Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult
Primary Language: English
The court ruled a white teen who stabbed a classmate to death will face the jury as a 300-pound black man. Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC.
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Subtitles in: English
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00:00:17 00:00:20 We begin tonight with an update on the story we've been following all week.
00:00:20 00:00:24 Hannah Stevenson, a 16-year-old girl from Detroit accused of stabbing a classmate to
00:00:24 00:00:27 death with a screwdriver last month. At her arraignment this afternoon,
00:00:27 00:00:30 Hannah received the harshest possible sentencing from the judge.
00:00:31 00:00:33 She will be tried as a black adult.
00:00:33 00:00:38 Due to the extreme and violent nature of this crime this court finds it fitting to
00:00:38 00:00:40 try the defendant as an African-American.
00:00:41 00:00:46 Henceforth, you'll be referred to by the jury by the name Mendel Brown.
00:00:46 00:00:50 Once the trial begins next week all courtroom images of Hannah will depict
00:00:50 00:00:54 her as a 300-pound muscular black man and jury members will be instructed
00:00:54 00:00:56 to imagine her as such.
00:00:58 00:01:02 We're going to do our best to make sure that Hannah is treated with the sympathy
00:01:02 00:01:06 and sensitivity that she, as a photogenic white girl, deserves.
00:01:06 00:01:10 This is America. Nobody deserves to be treated as a black man.
00:01:10 00:01:13 Now that Hannah has been ruled black, the court has instructed local media
00:01:13 00:01:16 to assume she's guilty and the police have retroactively charged her
00:01:16 00:01:18 with her assaulting her arresting officer.
00:01:19 00:01:22 Hannah's two dozen character witnesses have been replaced by a single crack
00:01:22 00:01:26 addict who goes by the name of Scags. Hannah's parents are of course planning to
00:01:26 00:01:29 appeal the ruling saying that their daughter should at most be tried as
00:01:29 00:01:33 a black celebrity or a stunningly beautiful Filipino lady.
00:01:33 00:01:37 Every time I hear a story like that, it makes me so glad I'm exempt from the legal system.
00:01:37 00:01:42 When you follow FactZone's Brooke Alvarez you're following the news anchor with more
00:01:43 00:01:47 stalkers than any other major network onscreen personality.
00:01:47 00:01:50 If you are watching Brooke Alvarez, you're not alone.
00:01:50 00:01:53 FactZone on the Onion News Network.
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