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Speculation is over.
|
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00:00:06 |
Wisconsin resident and Packers
fan, Chris Lukowski |
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has announced that he will return to
drinking for another football season. |
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Following his wife's off-season threat
to leave him if didn't get help, |
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many expected Lukowski to
give up drinking for good. |
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00:00:19 |
But he held a press conference today
to announce he's not done yet. |
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00:00:22 |
The Packers are my life.
And drinking is my life. |
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00:00:24 |
I think I have another couple
thousand beers left in me. |
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Can Lukowski push through
with another good season |
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or are his best drinking
days behind him? |
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If you're going to need something in the
next two minutes please grab it now |
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because you will be unable to find it once
you have entered the Steam Room. |
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00:00:40 |
Welcome to the Steam Room,
I'm Tim Devannon and alongside |
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00:00:44 |
OSN sports analyst Marcus Kelly.
Marcus, there is no "i" in steam. |
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00:00:46 |
I know that Tim.
- Then the Steam Room begins now. |
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00:00:49 |
Marcus, no question in anybody's
mind that Chris Lukowski |
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00:00:52 |
is among the all time greats of
alcohol consumption. - Absolutely right. |
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00:00:54 |
What's he got left to prove?
- Well, questionably nothing, Tim. |
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00:00:56 |
The guys done it all, lost jobs,
destroyed property, |
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all in the name of
Packers football. |
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And his lifetime stats
are incomparable. |
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A .43, career high,
blood alcohol content. |
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And six women punched.
|
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The man just, flat out, loves
to drink. - That's right! |
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We've got some footage up of the 2005
Packers victory. Let's take a look. |
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Go Pack, go!
Go Pack, go! |
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I remember that game. He was
a monster. - That's right. |
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He was really the last man standing from
that incredible drinking class of 1974. |
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Those were great... - Now Lukowski never
drank as much as Brian Pardville . |
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In one sitting though.
- Yeah, but where's Pardville now? |
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00:01:27 |
He's in an AA meeting. Getting
his five year sober chip. |
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Lukowski's still sitting in front of his
TV, drinking his weight in beer, |
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Week after week. -Can he keep
up this high level of play? |
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00:01:35 |
Of course he can! -He's a far
cry from the '97 Lukowski |
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we all knew and loved, who celebrated
the Packers Superbowl victory |
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by falling face first into
his backyard barbeque. |
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And then being unable to remember why
he had grill marks on his face the next day. |
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Let me tell you, the man
has got good form |
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and he's been drinking straight
through the off-season. |
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Just last Thanksgiving he awkwardly
broke his son's 14 year old girlfriend. |
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And then threatened to kill himself by
jumping off the roof of their ranch house. |
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Time for the Final Sweat.
|
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I'm a little bit worried about you.
- Well your concern is insulting. |
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Very well.
|
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Since Chris Lukowski's time
on this earth is limited, |
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who's the future of drinking?
|
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I wouldn't look any further than
the Lukowski household. -Wow! |
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Alex Lukowski has shown a
tremendous potential for drinking |
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since age three, when his father
poured beer in his bottle |
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to keep him quiet
during the game. |
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He's already accomplished so
much at such a young age. |
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That's right, he has.
-He got wasted out of his mind |
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for his job at Gumby's Pizza.
-Absolutely. |
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Losing his tooth in
somebody's milkshake. |
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And routinely peeing blood.
-He's got the best coach there is. |
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If the Packers are still playing, this kid
will be drinking. -He's got a real future. |
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00:02:26 |
Marcus Kelly, I can't tell if we've
survived the Steam Room |
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or died and gone to some sort
of warm, steamy purgatory. |
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Either way, it's been
an honor, Tim. |
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Thanks guys, you will live forever
in our steamy memories. |
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00:02:38 |
Moving on, the Milwaukee Brewers Polish
sausage has admitted to steroid use |
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and sausage race fixing.
|
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00:02:45 |
STILL AHEAD: MIKE KRZYZEWSKI
BECOMES WINNINGEST |
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00:02:46 |
VENTRILOQUEST'S DUMMY
IN NEAA HISTORY. |
