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Since 1896
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In the Know with Clifford Banes
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I'm Juliana McKannis, filling in for
Clifford Banes with way layed by bandits. |
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The nation is still reeling from yesterday's
tragic accident at the Grand Canyon, |
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where an oil truck spun out of control,
hit a rock wall and exploded, |
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sending flaming wreckage falling
into the Colorado river below, |
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killing a raft full of tourists.
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Who is responsible for this tragedy?
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Somebody's got to be held responsible.
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That road was just an exploding truck falling
rafting accident waiting to happen. |
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The government let those rafters
get killed by those truck pieces. |
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No, I think that it's too easy
to blame the government. |
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Wild Canyon river tours should have provided
safety equipment for their customers. |
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Helmets, body shells, that would protect
them from flaming projectile trucks. |
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They just let the trucks rain down.
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What we need is a tougher
certification test that would insure |
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that the truck driver would have
known what to do, |
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when his truck began to plummet
towards the raft. |
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-Yes, he should have screamed "truck coming!"
-That's right. |
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Now, since this incident,
Onion News Network polls show, |
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that 98% of Americans are concerned
or very concerned, |
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about trucking, rafting, debris,
rivers being near roads or being in Canyons. |
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Can you blame them? My staff informs
me that the republican governor |
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Thomas Campbell who in 1916
authorized the funding for this road, |
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did not even consider the report on
the effect of this road on rafter's safety. |
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I say, hang the man, if he hadn't
already died from German measles. |
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You know, exactly, and when it comes
to educating truckers |
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our nation is asleep at the wheel.
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Yes, today in your column Lauralee,
you call for the Arizona government |
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to create some sort of 'truck falling into
canyons' early warning detection system. |
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-That's right!
-Lauralee, I think that the real question is, |
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why haven't columnist been drawing
attention to this issue for years. |
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Now I've been trying to do that,
ever since I published my book, |
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Southwestern Escapes in 1998.
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But it's not just oil trucks that could be
deadly when they run into a rock face, |
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I mean we also have to consider
rocket cars, bikes carrying gasoline, |
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and tractor-trailers carrying one tank
of nytrogen and one tank of glycerine. |
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And tonight at 8pm,
|
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don't miss the Onion News Network's
3 hour special investigative report, |
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"Falling trucks- the hidden dangers
of America's Canyons". |
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Here's a preview.
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America's Canyons-
the perfect places to go rafting, |
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or the perfect places to have
your body severed to pieces, |
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by exploding vehicles raining down
on you from interstates above? |
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00:02:27 |
Tonight at 8 eastern in a 3 hour
Onion News Network special report. |
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00:02:31 |
Falling Trucks- the hidden dangers
of America's Canyons. |
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Still ahead this hour...
|
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00:02:39 |
Sarah Palin's latest book to focus
on hardships of being useless. |