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Beyonce fans around the world
were thrilled |
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when the multi-platinum singer
gave birth to a healthy baby girl |
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earlier this week.
|
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But that excitement
quickly turned to shock |
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when the witch who granted Beyonce
her perfect singing voice |
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15 years ago
appeared in a cloud of smoke |
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and demanded
the star's first-born child. |
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Gossip columnist Bryan Spees
is here with all the details. |
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Hey Angelique.
-Hey Bryan. |
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I cannot believe this.
-Well believe it Angelique. |
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The old hag has queen bee's baby
right now |
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and apparently it is totally legit.
-How so? |
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When Beyonce was a young girl,
|
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she met a magical witch
named Grisora in the woods |
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while gathering berries.
|
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And Grisora told Beyonce
that she would make her sing |
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with the unmatched beauty
of 1000 nightingales |
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in return for her firstborn child.
|
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But why didn't Beyonce
mention it to anyone? |
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Inside sources are saying
that she thought the witch |
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would actually forget about it
over a time. |
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What? But Grisora didn't obviously.
-No, she didn't. |
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And unbeknownst to Beyonce,
|
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she's actually been keeping tabs
on the singer |
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as evidenced in this photo.
|
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Apparently she was even
in the front row at the VMAs, |
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very hard to get seats,
|
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when Beyonce revealed
her baby bump. |
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So obviously the second that baby
came out into the world, |
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Grisora was right there to snatch it
out of Beyonce's arms |
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saying: "I have come for what
is mine. Give me the babe." |
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This is such a nightmare. How is
Jay-Z responding to all of this? |
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Oh, poor Jay-Z. He offered Grisora
a room filled with gold |
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if she would let them
keep the baby |
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but from what I can tell,
Angelique, |
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that nasty crone
ain't giving back that baby. |
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Well it doesn't sound like it.
|
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Grisora made this statement
to the press earlier today. |
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Do not weep for Beyonce.
|
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It was she who made the deal
and signed it in her own blood. |
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These starlets have got to stop
making deals with magical creatures |
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because it always gets them
in trouble. |
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I know, absolutely.
|
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We saw when the genie granted
Jennifer Aniston eternal youth |
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but then the eternal youth
|
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turned out to mean
that she'll never grow up |
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by having a lasting relationship
or children. |
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Duh. Also we saw when Christina
Ricci asked a wizard |
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to make her skinny,
but the catch was |
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he could make her head
as big as he wanted. |
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That was so sad.
-It was awful. |
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Hopefully this story
will be a wake-up call |
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for all other aspiring celebrities.
-Yes, I'm sure it will be. Thanks. |
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Thank you so much
for being with us Bryan. |
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Anytime Ang. -Alright, it's time
to test your star knowledge. |
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Which A-list Hollywood hunk
did this entertainment reporter |
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have sex with yesterday
in a golf cart |
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parked on the Warner Brothers
lot? |
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We'll let you know
when we come back. |