||And then you know, John McCain was like
he's gonna have to top that.
||So today he announced.
You think only in America.
||Hey let me tell you something.
My VP pick, is the Governor of Alaska,
||a unknown hockey mum,
named Sarah Palin,
||that nobody every heard of.
The only job she ever had before this,
||in politics, was the Mayor of a small town,
known as Wassila, Alaska.
||And now she has the opportunity
to be on a ticket,
||opposite Barack Obama,
the first black man she's ever seen.
||Only in America, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Only in America.
||I'm not kidding. She was the Mayor of Wassila,
||before she became the Governor of Alaska,
population San Bernadino.
||This isn't a Presidential ticket
it's a sitcom.
||The Maverick and the Milf.
||Oh boy. Wilfred Brimley and Megan Malawi.
The Maverick and the Milf.
||Are you kidding me the Mayor of Wassila,
Alaska. Yeah that's who you want,
||in a time of crisis in the White House.
When she got a phone at three in the morning,
||it was because a moose had gotten
into the garbage can.
||I think this is pertinent because
McCain has been running this campaign,
||based on, we're at war.
It's a dangerous world out there,
||the Democrats don't get that
and it's a dangerous war.
||I, John McCain am the only one standing
between the blood thirsty Al Quaeda's,
||But if I die,
the stewardess can handle it.
I am not kidding.
||Governor Sarah Palin,
whatever, I'll learn it.
||When they were vetting her for this job,
like three seconds ago,
||she said quote, I'm not making this up,
"what is it exactly that the VP does every day?"
||Let me field that one for you Sarah.
They start wars, they enrich their friends,
||they subvert the constitution,
and they shoot people in the face.
||That's what the Vice President does.
||I mean, an Alaskan hockey mum,
is a heartbeat away from the Presidency.
||When McCain says country first.
This country, is that what he's talking about?
||And the McCain people,
they believe that Americans,
||will disregard her inexperience,
because they will fall in love with her story.
||She was a runner up,
I'm not making this up,
||in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant.
Which may sound trite,
||but you try walking in high heel
||And the trump card,
why Americans will fall in love with her.
||She's got 5 kids.
How could you not vote for someone,
||who has 5 children, including an infant.
Some touching details about the infant.
||It has Down's syndrome.
She had it when she was 43 years old.
||And it looks a lot like John Edwards.
||I mean, 5 kids.
Does anyone in that party understand,
||the concept of pulling out?
I got it out of my system thank you very much.