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Miley Cyrus shakes her X-factor,
Oprah tells her viewers buhumbug. |
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I am America's next top model,
and holy crap, the What the Buck show |
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has 300,000 subscribers. Thank you!
|
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What the Buck
with Michael Buckley |
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Rate it even if you hate it
|
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The X-factor, which is known for producing great
talent, invited Miley Cyrus |
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and Britney Spears on the show last week
to show the contestants: |
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"Hey, look, it's not so hard".
Stay tuned for Wednesday's video |
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which will be devoted to the comeback
of Ms. Spears, so let's focus now on Miley. |
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What an honor for the X-factor to have
Miley Cyrus performing her smash hit song |
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"7 Things" live on their stage.
I love the song on the radio, |
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but whenever she does it live
I'm scared of her. |
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She has never been a dancer.
You heard me! |
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She dances just run around back an forth
and throws her head around. |
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This time it was like she was having a severe
head bang, I thought she was having a seizure. |
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She needs to work on some new moves.
Also that "Fly on the wall" song is dumb |
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and the choreography would be clever
if it was 1983. |
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It's buggier than Harvey Clinger and his bugs.
Over your head, but I had to say it. |
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Going steady is one thing, Marsha,
but wearing false eyelashes is out. |
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I can't stop. Miley also posted a new
Miley-Mandy video and their comedic skills |
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are back in full force. Miley screamed,
Mandy screamed, other girls screamed. |
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And then they played Miley's song "See you again"
and they made faces and lip sunc |
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and pretended to play the guitar.
I love that they credit themselves |
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as "Miley as Miley" and "Mandy as Mandy",
in case you thought maybe Miley was playing Mandy |
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And vice virgin. Then they had 2 minutes
of bloopers and you're like, |
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"Oh, you rehearsed this? That's so cute."
Miley, I noticed that in your bedroom |
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you have a silver "M". Me too.
Whatever. What does yours stand for? |
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My stands for "Mortified that I have the same
bedroom decor as a 16-year-old girl. |
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In sad news, Rosie O'Donnell attempt
at returning to television and reviving |
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the old school variety show was a flop.
The ratings, the reviews were poor |
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and it was the first and last installment
of the series. I think the problem is |
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that Rosie likes what Rosie likes
and it's probably fine on her Rosie Cruise |
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when people are trapped on a boat and drunk,
and after they watch people tap dance. |
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But on TV we like to see funny things,
and Gloria Esteban telling thanksgiving jokes |
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and Alanis Morisette singing in foreign toungues
doesn't count. |
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It felt like I was watching "America's Got Talent"
and I wanted to go.... |
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It's too bad she didn't have the Jonas Brothers,
then she'd be all set. |
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I love Rosie, I love variety shows,
I didn't like it though, |
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so there must have been something wrong.
The best part of the show |
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was when she gave lots of things away.
Fun things. Unlike someone. |
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Oprah Winfrey is a greedy bastard
dressed like Santa Clause with thighs that shook |
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when she laughed like 10 bowls full of jelly.
She stood there, jolly old saint O |
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and her annual favorite things holiday episode,
and gave the salivating crowd of ladies |
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dressed in bright pinks and greens
and hopes of being on TV, NOTHING. |
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Every year, the studio audience -
this is the one you want to be at. |
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Last year she gave away $7,000 worth of goodies.
This year she gave away suggestions |
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how to have a thriftier holiday.
And then you got to watch some woman cook |
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for like 20 minutes, but she did give one thing
away - her book club book. |
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Bringing real meaning back to the holidays
is my favorite thing too, |
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but when I go to the frikking Oprah show
I want the frikking presents. |
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The words from your heart, yeah, they mean
more than people, blah, what you can buy, |
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blah blah blah. The economy is bad
but not for you, Harpo. |
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P.S if some bitch gave me home made salsa
for Christmas and a cigar box or a note, |
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I would flip them over the couch. For real.
And finally, this is the best part of any video, |
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I forgot to do top model cover girl commercial
last week, so here it is: |
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"Eshe la kli un close-up". That's the dude's part.
Once I get through that, I'm all set. |
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"Isha la kla un close-up.
New Wetslick's amazement kip gloss from Covergirl. |
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It's not a lipgloss."
"It's not a tumor". I'm sorry. |
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How is it not a lipgloss? It's a lipgloss,
it's not a lipgloss, take 2. |
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"It's NOT a lipgloss. It's a smile-brightening
treatment. Watch. |
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High shine finish, smile-brightening shades
of crest peppermint oil |
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for a boost of breath-freshness,
so you can get close. Real close. |
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And still dazzle with your smile.
New Wetslick's Amazement lipgloss |
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from easy breezy beautiful Covergil,
What the Buck? |
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America's next top model is me!
Common question of the day, |
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answer any or all. Number one,
what did you think of Miley on X-factor? |
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Why do you think she does that with her neck?
It looks like it hurts. |
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Number two, who do you want to win X-factor?
Keep me posted on what's going on there. |
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I love it. Number three, what did you think
of Rosie live, why did you think it failed? |
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Did any of you watch? What are your thoughts?
Who do you think could pull off |
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and prime time variety show?
Four - why is Oprah such a selfish %#$&*? |
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With her billions of Dollars, and she told us
to give each other salsa and boxes of notes, |
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what is the one super expensive,
totally not practical gift you would want |
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for the holidays? And bonus -
make a video response with your answers |
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and your Covergirl commercial.
Go over to buckholywood.com, link on the side |
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for a bonus video, where I answer all these videos
and more. |
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And thank you again for 300,000 subscribers.
Holy crap. That's amazing! |
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More amazing than a no lipgloss lipgloss.
I don't know why I just made that face. |
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I just totally didn't have anything to say,
so I was just like, "lipgloss!", and the I went... |
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It's good to finish with an expression.
Bam. |
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Please subscribe!
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