||Miley Cyrus shakes her X-factor,
Oprah tells her viewers buhumbug.
||I am America's next top model,
and holy crap, the What the Buck show
||has 300,000 subscribers. Thank you!
||What the Buck
with Michael Buckley
||Rate it even if you hate it
||The X-factor, which is known for producing great
talent, invited Miley Cyrus
||and Britney Spears on the show last week
to show the contestants:
||"Hey, look, it's not so hard".
Stay tuned for Wednesday's video
||which will be devoted to the comeback
of Ms. Spears, so let's focus now on Miley.
||What an honor for the X-factor to have
Miley Cyrus performing her smash hit song
||"7 Things" live on their stage.
I love the song on the radio,
||but whenever she does it live
I'm scared of her.
||She has never been a dancer.
You heard me!
||She dances just run around back an forth
and throws her head around.
||This time it was like she was having a severe
head bang, I thought she was having a seizure.
||She needs to work on some new moves.
Also that "Fly on the wall" song is dumb
||and the choreography would be clever
if it was 1983.
||It's buggier than Harvey Clinger and his bugs.
Over your head, but I had to say it.
||Going steady is one thing, Marsha,
but wearing false eyelashes is out.
||I can't stop. Miley also posted a new
Miley-Mandy video and their comedic skills
||are back in full force. Miley screamed,
Mandy screamed, other girls screamed.
||And then they played Miley's song "See you again"
and they made faces and lip sunc
||and pretended to play the guitar.
I love that they credit themselves
||as "Miley as Miley" and "Mandy as Mandy",
in case you thought maybe Miley was playing Mandy
||And vice virgin. Then they had 2 minutes
of bloopers and you're like,
||"Oh, you rehearsed this? That's so cute."
Miley, I noticed that in your bedroom
||you have a silver "M". Me too.
Whatever. What does yours stand for?
||My stands for "Mortified that I have the same
bedroom decor as a 16-year-old girl.
||In sad news, Rosie O'Donnell attempt
at returning to television and reviving
||the old school variety show was a flop.
The ratings, the reviews were poor
||and it was the first and last installment
of the series. I think the problem is
||that Rosie likes what Rosie likes
and it's probably fine on her Rosie Cruise
||when people are trapped on a boat and drunk,
and after they watch people tap dance.
||But on TV we like to see funny things,
and Gloria Esteban telling thanksgiving jokes
||and Alanis Morisette singing in foreign toungues
||It felt like I was watching "America's Got Talent"
and I wanted to go....
||It's too bad she didn't have the Jonas Brothers,
then she'd be all set.
||I love Rosie, I love variety shows,
I didn't like it though,
||so there must have been something wrong.
The best part of the show
||was when she gave lots of things away.
Fun things. Unlike someone.
||Oprah Winfrey is a greedy bastard
dressed like Santa Clause with thighs that shook
||when she laughed like 10 bowls full of jelly.
She stood there, jolly old saint O
||and her annual favorite things holiday episode,
and gave the salivating crowd of ladies
||dressed in bright pinks and greens
and hopes of being on TV, NOTHING.
||Every year, the studio audience -
this is the one you want to be at.
||Last year she gave away $7,000 worth of goodies.
This year she gave away suggestions
||how to have a thriftier holiday.
And then you got to watch some woman cook
||for like 20 minutes, but she did give one thing
away - her book club book.
||Bringing real meaning back to the holidays
is my favorite thing too,
||but when I go to the frikking Oprah show
I want the frikking presents.
||The words from your heart, yeah, they mean
more than people, blah, what you can buy,
||blah blah blah. The economy is bad
but not for you, Harpo.
||P.S if some bitch gave me home made salsa
for Christmas and a cigar box or a note,
||I would flip them over the couch. For real.
And finally, this is the best part of any video,
||I forgot to do top model cover girl commercial
last week, so here it is:
||"Eshe la kli un close-up". That's the dude's part.
Once I get through that, I'm all set.
||"Isha la kla un close-up.
New Wetslick's amazement kip gloss from Covergirl.
||It's not a lipgloss."
"It's not a tumor". I'm sorry.
||How is it not a lipgloss? It's a lipgloss,
it's not a lipgloss, take 2.
||"It's NOT a lipgloss. It's a smile-brightening
||High shine finish, smile-brightening shades
of crest peppermint oil
||for a boost of breath-freshness,
so you can get close. Real close.
||And still dazzle with your smile.
New Wetslick's Amazement lipgloss
||from easy breezy beautiful Covergil,
What the Buck?
||America's next top model is me!
Common question of the day,
||answer any or all. Number one,
what did you think of Miley on X-factor?
||Why do you think she does that with her neck?
It looks like it hurts.
||Number two, who do you want to win X-factor?
Keep me posted on what's going on there.
||I love it. Number three, what did you think
of Rosie live, why did you think it failed?
||Did any of you watch? What are your thoughts?
Who do you think could pull off
||and prime time variety show?
Four - why is Oprah such a selfish %#$&*?
||With her billions of Dollars, and she told us
to give each other salsa and boxes of notes,
||what is the one super expensive,
totally not practical gift you would want
||for the holidays? And bonus -
make a video response with your answers
||and your Covergirl commercial.
Go over to buckholywood.com, link on the side
||for a bonus video, where I answer all these videos
||And thank you again for 300,000 subscribers.
Holy crap. That's amazing!
||More amazing than a no lipgloss lipgloss.
I don't know why I just made that face.
||I just totally didn't have anything to say,
so I was just like, "lipgloss!", and the I went...
||It's good to finish with an expression.